Health is everything

I have to be honest. I don't know how I got here.

So, up until now, I have to say that my endeavors to lose weight have been pretty superficial. At the time, I would not have said that, of course. But, I realize that they have been. A close friend's wedding, wanting to not feel uncomfortable in my clothes...whatever. These are great reasons, but they have not been sustainable reasons for me. There are things that happen in life, though, that get your attention and help you see things from a different perspective.

I don't know if you have heard of pseudo tumor cerebri - I hadn't. Apparently it occurs in women of child bearing age who have experienced a recent increase in weight gain (ding, ding, ding). It's a pain in the rear and carries with it a threat of vision loss.

All of these things, I cannot do. So, I am going to work really hard to completely regain my health. I was listening to someone recently who said that there are conditions and situations that happen in life that make you move, make you take action or do things that you may not have done otherwise. Well, here I am. And, I believe this is an opportunity for me to turn my life around - how I eat, my ideas about food, how I approach hunger and deal with it...

As I understand, I have to lose not 20 pounds, not 40 pounds, but 100 pounds. It may take me a year to accomplish it. I'm up for the fight and I do believe that I will be victorious. I do believe I will win. The alternative is not an 'alternative' at all. I have a beautiful child to raise and a great life that I want to live. I have so much to accomplish. I just pray that I have enough time to make positive changes. I feel like every pound lost is moving me in the right direction. Anything...as long as I am not gaining.

I was inspired this week at the gym. I'd jump on the treadmill to do my thing and would see a lot of, lets say seasoned people, in the gym, just working it out and doing what they had to do. I had a conversation with one man who told me that he's there eight days a week. I laughed, but thought about how much in the past I complained about having to actually go workout. Yesterday, I watched this one guy do ab exercises that I promise you I'm not strong enough to try yet. Now, both of these guys are well into their 60s (and I know I'm being liberal, here).

So, here I am. It's a familiar place, but I am working like heck to have a different outcome. This time around, I need to see results, I need to see changes. I need to have the headaches subside, the dizziness go away, the swelling in my optic nerves to disappear. And this will happen. All of this will happen because I believe that it will, I have faith that it will and I'm willing to do what it takes to make it happen. Catch you later.

Bread. And my absolute problem with it.

A part of me feels like I should be writing an ode to it instead of complaining about it in this post. But the truth of the matter is this stuff is ruining my life. I love it. I do. But, it is ruining the progress that I am working so hard to make and I want to not only go to the gym everyday, but see big time results.

Until recently, I kept the crap out of my house. Sans a small wheat loaf for Chrystian's lunch, there was no need for it. But then, my husband started complaining that there was never any bread with dinner. And there wasn't. I did it on purpose. But, I didn't think it was fair to restrict him because of my own weaknesses. So now, there's bread, and more carbs, and more temptation in my house. This isn't a good idea for someone like me. Last night I had cheese toast. I might as well be honest. Last night I had three cheese toast slices. Not last night really, one am this morning. Tonight, two dinner rolls. See what I'm saying? This is not a good idea. So, when I go to the doctor, as I did this past week, I really can't complain that my workouts are not transferring to my numbers on the scale. This is pretty much a no-brainer. I'm doing this to myself.

So, instead of complaining about it, I'm going to have to change my behavior. And quick. I'm thinking about other alternatives as far as following a particular diet are concerned. I think that everyone has to find their own way...what works for them. The app, My Fitness Pal works well for me. It helps to document and keep track of what I've eaten during the day. That, in itself, is an exercise in discipline for me because sometimes I don't want to see that. I don't want to see how many calories I've taken in by 10 am. But, it's important that I do so. Face it and deal with it.

This is what I've learned so far about myself (among many things) - I can't do diet sodas (I don't do them often, but I really can't do them at all), I need weights in my life to actually change my shape, and I can't really do carbs. I go into overload and can't deal. Dr. Oz was talking today about a grain called faro that's supposed to be better than anything, quinoa, anything. I may check that out. But, other than that, I just really need to focus on the protein and increasing that in my diet.

A good friend recently told me about ketosis, which is when the body begins to break down its own body fat for fuel. What I do know is that I was testing my ketosis levels years ago when I was on Atkins and I lost about twenty pounds or so. That was a long time ago, and now I need to learn more about it. Some benefits and arguments for following a ketogenic diet are:

1. A change in appetite that organically leads to eating less calories.
2. More fat loss will come from actual belly fat. This issue has been a thorn in my side from the beginning. I welcome this change.
3. Improvement to my lipid panel - triglycerides go down, HDL goes up, blood sugar, insulin levels and high blood pressure improves. Win, win, win on all fronts.

We'll see how this goes. I'm going to get my mind together and start this process this weekend and be sure to post my results. In the meantime, I'll try to sweet talk my husband into re-thinking this 'need bread at dinner' thing.

No, This isn't a cooking blog...

Hi everyone!  Well, I must say that this project has been a long time coming - Salt and Sweet Sugar.  I've wanted to write a blog for years now, but was never quite sure what to blog about  - until a friend encouraged me to look at my own life and what I'm dealing with, learning, discovering.  So to make a short story long, Salt and Sweet Sugar is about my journey to what ultimate health is for me.  What that means for me really is something I know will develop over time, and will require me to put of in a lot of work (as I'm finding out now).

So, this is not a cooking blog, although I may feature some tasty and healthy treats from time to time.  This health journey is about total renewal for me.  I am losing weight, getting to what my doctor tells me is the ideal body weight for my height (I don't even know what 120 pounds looks like on me, okay), and learning how to do all of this while managing my....um, appreciation for these two things, salt and sweet sugar, that got me in this fluffy-bodied, hypertension pill-popping mess in the first place. 

So...here's to transformation. My transformation and my renewal.  Thank you for coming along with me.