Health is everything

I have to be honest. I don't know how I got here.

So, up until now, I have to say that my endeavors to lose weight have been pretty superficial. At the time, I would not have said that, of course. But, I realize that they have been. A close friend's wedding, wanting to not feel uncomfortable in my clothes...whatever. These are great reasons, but they have not been sustainable reasons for me. There are things that happen in life, though, that get your attention and help you see things from a different perspective.

I don't know if you have heard of pseudo tumor cerebri - I hadn't. Apparently it occurs in women of child bearing age who have experienced a recent increase in weight gain (ding, ding, ding). It's a pain in the rear and carries with it a threat of vision loss.

All of these things, I cannot do. So, I am going to work really hard to completely regain my health. I was listening to someone recently who said that there are conditions and situations that happen in life that make you move, make you take action or do things that you may not have done otherwise. Well, here I am. And, I believe this is an opportunity for me to turn my life around - how I eat, my ideas about food, how I approach hunger and deal with it...

As I understand, I have to lose not 20 pounds, not 40 pounds, but 100 pounds. It may take me a year to accomplish it. I'm up for the fight and I do believe that I will be victorious. I do believe I will win. The alternative is not an 'alternative' at all. I have a beautiful child to raise and a great life that I want to live. I have so much to accomplish. I just pray that I have enough time to make positive changes. I feel like every pound lost is moving me in the right direction. Anything...as long as I am not gaining.

I was inspired this week at the gym. I'd jump on the treadmill to do my thing and would see a lot of, lets say seasoned people, in the gym, just working it out and doing what they had to do. I had a conversation with one man who told me that he's there eight days a week. I laughed, but thought about how much in the past I complained about having to actually go workout. Yesterday, I watched this one guy do ab exercises that I promise you I'm not strong enough to try yet. Now, both of these guys are well into their 60s (and I know I'm being liberal, here).

So, here I am. It's a familiar place, but I am working like heck to have a different outcome. This time around, I need to see results, I need to see changes. I need to have the headaches subside, the dizziness go away, the swelling in my optic nerves to disappear. And this will happen. All of this will happen because I believe that it will, I have faith that it will and I'm willing to do what it takes to make it happen. Catch you later.